Well, it has been way too long since my last post, and so many things have happened, both good and bad, its hard to know where to start.
So, rather than try to "rehash" everything that has happened in the past year, (almost), that I have been on hiatus, I have decided to discuss a topic that has been coming up quite frequently with both friends and family.
I do not know what has caused this sudden curiosity from my "NT" friends and family. It is certainly nothing new, as these sensitivities have always existed.
I have many things that I am "sensitive" to.
Most of them are "hyper", some are "hypo".
For as long as I can remember, I have had a strong aversion to sunlight. I would much rather be active at night to avoid the sunlight. It hurts my eyes. I have to buy the darkest sunglasses I can find, and still would rather just not be outside when it is bright out.
Sunlight also affects me differently than most people.
I have noticed that the "average" person, seems to be energized by sunlight. They become very active.
Sunlight makes me want to sleep.
If I have to be out all day in the sunlight, I will be lethargic all day long.
The interesting thing is, I am more, "reptilian" than "mammalian".
What I mean by that is, I seem to "store" energy until the sun goes down. About one hour after sunset, I become alive. Abundant energy....the "bouncing off the walls" kind of energy.
This type of sensitivity, by my understanding, is the most common type of hyper-sensitivity for those with Autism/Aspergers.
Interestingly, I have noted a rather unique, "side effect" to having this particular sensitivity.
I actually see better at night, than I do during the day. I mean a lot better.
I have amazed people by being able to spot a black cat, under a car, in the middle of the night, when there was no other light source to assist in my spotting him. I can see "shadows within shadows", if that makes any sense. I wish I could think of a better way to explain that.
My son, Kyle, (diagnosed autistic), was born with the same "contempt" for sunlight.
He used to hate going for car rides, as the sun inevitably would, "hurt" him.
At first, we weren't sure what the issue was. We thought he just didn't like car rides. As he got older, we figured it out and after purchasing a darker sunshade. He now enjoys car rides much better. At 8 years old now, he would much rather play indoors than outside. When he does choose to play outside, he usually doesn't do it for any length of time, usually an hour or two at most.
How many of you know someone, or is someone with a similar issue concerning sunlight? I would like to keep this article narrowed to just the sunlight topic. As you may have noticed, the title of this blog is, "Part 1".
My intention is to cover the various sensitivities, one at a time, so as not to consume my whole day with typing.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
3CrazyBoys asked me
if I ever created the "illusion of eye contact" when I am speaking to other people, and I do.
But in discussing the issue with a young lady who has Aspergers, I have come to realize something else.
I know this holds true for me at least, but I cannot speak for others who have Aspergers, and that is this.
For me, the level of discomfort is more when someone looks into my eyes, rather than when I look into theirs.
If I am speaking with someone, and they are distracted visual by something else, like kids playing, or a pet doing something, I feel as If it is, "safe", to look at them, but as soon as their gaze gets to my own eyes, I suddenly feel the need to look away.
It almost a borderline OCD for me. Like a "knee-jerk" reaction. I look away almost instantly, and without even thinking about it.
Oh, there is some level of discomfort for me, to look into anothers eyes, but having someone look me in the eyes makes me instantly uncomfortable to a far greater degree. I do not know why that is either, which is frustrating, as I have been pondering this for several days now, and still have no answer.
It does make me wonder how other people on the spectrum feel about eye contact.
Is looking into someone elses eyes equally discomforting, or greater, or does it not bother you as much, as when they look into yours?
But in discussing the issue with a young lady who has Aspergers, I have come to realize something else.
I know this holds true for me at least, but I cannot speak for others who have Aspergers, and that is this.
For me, the level of discomfort is more when someone looks into my eyes, rather than when I look into theirs.
If I am speaking with someone, and they are distracted visual by something else, like kids playing, or a pet doing something, I feel as If it is, "safe", to look at them, but as soon as their gaze gets to my own eyes, I suddenly feel the need to look away.
It almost a borderline OCD for me. Like a "knee-jerk" reaction. I look away almost instantly, and without even thinking about it.
Oh, there is some level of discomfort for me, to look into anothers eyes, but having someone look me in the eyes makes me instantly uncomfortable to a far greater degree. I do not know why that is either, which is frustrating, as I have been pondering this for several days now, and still have no answer.
It does make me wonder how other people on the spectrum feel about eye contact.
Is looking into someone elses eyes equally discomforting, or greater, or does it not bother you as much, as when they look into yours?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Strange How Some Things Work Out!
Have you ever noticed that?
I mean, when I started to blog about Aspergers, I did it mainly as a way to vent.
I did not know anyone else that had Aspergers at the time, and it really didn't seem like anyone else could relate to me.
So mainly, it was a forum to "yell" about my frustrations.
It also had a secondary nature to it though as well.
I blogged in hopes that someone else affected by Aspergers would say "hi", and we could communicate so that I could attempt to understand the road that I had now found myself upon.
In an ironic twist however, this blog has apparently been more useful to other people, as I regularly find emails, or posts, thanking me for writing what little I have.
I am very happy that those of you who have written or posted here, have been able to find some comfort. I hope that as I continue to grow and learn, (feels strange to say that at 37 years of age, hehehe), I will be able to be a continued source of assistance to you.
And to those who have written about their own experiences, I thank you.
And to those who have been kind enough to "Follow Me", I promise I am going to try to start writing more often than I have.
The process will be a little slow, but I hope that withing a couple of weeks, I shall be posting new stuff at least once per week.
Unfortunately, anything more than that, will just be whenever I have time.
I mean, when I started to blog about Aspergers, I did it mainly as a way to vent.
I did not know anyone else that had Aspergers at the time, and it really didn't seem like anyone else could relate to me.
So mainly, it was a forum to "yell" about my frustrations.
It also had a secondary nature to it though as well.
I blogged in hopes that someone else affected by Aspergers would say "hi", and we could communicate so that I could attempt to understand the road that I had now found myself upon.
In an ironic twist however, this blog has apparently been more useful to other people, as I regularly find emails, or posts, thanking me for writing what little I have.
I am very happy that those of you who have written or posted here, have been able to find some comfort. I hope that as I continue to grow and learn, (feels strange to say that at 37 years of age, hehehe), I will be able to be a continued source of assistance to you.
And to those who have written about their own experiences, I thank you.
And to those who have been kind enough to "Follow Me", I promise I am going to try to start writing more often than I have.
The process will be a little slow, but I hope that withing a couple of weeks, I shall be posting new stuff at least once per week.
Unfortunately, anything more than that, will just be whenever I have time.
Monday, January 19, 2009
The opposite question.
In the last post, I was curious as to what NT's felt made eye contact so important.
I now wish to try to find out what about eye contact makes those of us with AS, so uncomfortable?
You would think that, having AS, that I would know this answer, but truthfully, as I sit here and ponder on it, I cannot honestly tell you why I dont really wish to look at your eyes.
All I can tell you, is that I have never really liked it....thats it, no real reason beyond that.
I mean I am well aware that by looking into anothers eye's, they will not be stealing my soul. I will not suddenly catch fire, or any other absurd thing.
I absolutely have no idea for myself, as to why this is something so uncomfortable.
So now that I have reflected upon it, I realize how illogical it is, at least for me.
But having said that, its a very real discomforting thing for me, so I doubt that it will change anytime soon.
So now I am curious if any other people with ASD's have an understanding as to why they dont like eye contact.
I now wish to try to find out what about eye contact makes those of us with AS, so uncomfortable?
You would think that, having AS, that I would know this answer, but truthfully, as I sit here and ponder on it, I cannot honestly tell you why I dont really wish to look at your eyes.
All I can tell you, is that I have never really liked it....thats it, no real reason beyond that.
I mean I am well aware that by looking into anothers eye's, they will not be stealing my soul. I will not suddenly catch fire, or any other absurd thing.
I absolutely have no idea for myself, as to why this is something so uncomfortable.
So now that I have reflected upon it, I realize how illogical it is, at least for me.
But having said that, its a very real discomforting thing for me, so I doubt that it will change anytime soon.
So now I am curious if any other people with ASD's have an understanding as to why they dont like eye contact.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Just a quick question.
Since the holiday season ended, things have quieted down to a nice lull, that I have been really enjoying.
Having said that, I haven't really been able to think of anything to write.
But, I was having a conversation with one of our neighbors, and the topic about eye contact came up.
That got me to wondering.
What exactly about looking into someones eyes is so important?
I mean, eyes are pretty, but alone, they have almost no value in a conversation. You cannot tell if someone is being deceptive based only upon their eyes, but one must also focus on the corners of the eyes, the eyebrows, and the eyelids. Sometimes, with really good liars, you must look at more than that, like their lips, or what they do with their head, the direction that they tip it when talking, etc.
Of course, dilation of a pupil can indicate whether the person you are speaking to feels you are attractive or not, but shouldn't be used as a guarantee of their feelings, as there are other factors that can cause pupil dilation, (drug use, lighting, a recent visit to the optometrist).
So I am trying to understand why NT's in general feel that eye contact is so important.
From my point of view, as someone with Asperger's, I don't really find much value, other than aesthetics, for continued, or prolonged eye contact.
Do you get something else from looking into someones eyes when they are talking?
I've tried looking into my wife's eyes. They are olive with little, white specks, although on occasion they are hazel rather than olive. Pretty.
But looking into her eyes when having a conversation with her, doesn't seem to add anything more to the conversation, so am I missing something?
Can any NT's out their help me understand this?
Having said that, I haven't really been able to think of anything to write.
But, I was having a conversation with one of our neighbors, and the topic about eye contact came up.
That got me to wondering.
What exactly about looking into someones eyes is so important?
I mean, eyes are pretty, but alone, they have almost no value in a conversation. You cannot tell if someone is being deceptive based only upon their eyes, but one must also focus on the corners of the eyes, the eyebrows, and the eyelids. Sometimes, with really good liars, you must look at more than that, like their lips, or what they do with their head, the direction that they tip it when talking, etc.
Of course, dilation of a pupil can indicate whether the person you are speaking to feels you are attractive or not, but shouldn't be used as a guarantee of their feelings, as there are other factors that can cause pupil dilation, (drug use, lighting, a recent visit to the optometrist).
So I am trying to understand why NT's in general feel that eye contact is so important.
From my point of view, as someone with Asperger's, I don't really find much value, other than aesthetics, for continued, or prolonged eye contact.
Do you get something else from looking into someones eyes when they are talking?
I've tried looking into my wife's eyes. They are olive with little, white specks, although on occasion they are hazel rather than olive. Pretty.
But looking into her eyes when having a conversation with her, doesn't seem to add anything more to the conversation, so am I missing something?
Can any NT's out their help me understand this?
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