Thursday, February 5, 2009

3CrazyBoys asked me

if I ever created the "illusion of eye contact" when I am speaking to other people, and I do.
But in discussing the issue with a young lady who has Aspergers, I have come to realize something else.
I know this holds true for me at least, but I cannot speak for others who have Aspergers, and that is this.
For me, the level of discomfort is more when someone looks into my eyes, rather than when I look into theirs.
If I am speaking with someone, and they are distracted visual by something else, like kids playing, or a pet doing something, I feel as If it is, "safe", to look at them, but as soon as their gaze gets to my own eyes, I suddenly feel the need to look away.
It almost a borderline OCD for me. Like a "knee-jerk" reaction. I look away almost instantly, and without even thinking about it.
Oh, there is some level of discomfort for me, to look into anothers eyes, but having someone look me in the eyes makes me instantly uncomfortable to a far greater degree. I do not know why that is either, which is frustrating, as I have been pondering this for several days now, and still have no answer.
It does make me wonder how other people on the spectrum feel about eye contact.
Is looking into someone elses eyes equally discomforting, or greater, or does it not bother you as much, as when they look into yours?