Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Strange How Some Things Work Out!

Have you ever noticed that?
I mean, when I started to blog about Aspergers, I did it mainly as a way to vent.
I did not know anyone else that had Aspergers at the time, and it really didn't seem like anyone else could relate to me.
So mainly, it was a forum to "yell" about my frustrations.
It also had a secondary nature to it though as well.
I blogged in hopes that someone else affected by Aspergers would say "hi", and we could communicate so that I could attempt to understand the road that I had now found myself upon.
In an ironic twist however, this blog has apparently been more useful to other people, as I regularly find emails, or posts, thanking me for writing what little I have.
I am very happy that those of you who have written or posted here, have been able to find some comfort. I hope that as I continue to grow and learn, (feels strange to say that at 37 years of age, hehehe), I will be able to be a continued source of assistance to you.
And to those who have written about their own experiences, I thank you.
And to those who have been kind enough to "Follow Me", I promise I am going to try to start writing more often than I have.
The process will be a little slow, but I hope that withing a couple of weeks, I shall be posting new stuff at least once per week.
Unfortunately, anything more than that, will just be whenever I have time.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The opposite question.

In the last post, I was curious as to what NT's felt made eye contact so important.
I now wish to try to find out what about eye contact makes those of us with AS, so uncomfortable?
You would think that, having AS, that I would know this answer, but truthfully, as I sit here and ponder on it, I cannot honestly tell you why I dont really wish to look at your eyes.
All I can tell you, is that I have never really liked it....thats it, no real reason beyond that.
I mean I am well aware that by looking into anothers eye's, they will not be stealing my soul. I will not suddenly catch fire, or any other absurd thing.
I absolutely have no idea for myself, as to why this is something so uncomfortable.
So now that I have reflected upon it, I realize how illogical it is, at least for me.
But having said that, its a very real discomforting thing for me, so I doubt that it will change anytime soon.
So now I am curious if any other people with ASD's have an understanding as to why they dont like eye contact.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Just a quick question.

Since the holiday season ended, things have quieted down to a nice lull, that I have been really enjoying.
Having said that, I haven't really been able to think of anything to write.
But, I was having a conversation with one of our neighbors, and the topic about eye contact came up.
That got me to wondering.
What exactly about looking into someones eyes is so important?
I mean, eyes are pretty, but alone, they have almost no value in a conversation. You cannot tell if someone is being deceptive based only upon their eyes, but one must also focus on the corners of the eyes, the eyebrows, and the eyelids. Sometimes, with really good liars, you must look at more than that, like their lips, or what they do with their head, the direction that they tip it when talking, etc.
Of course, dilation of a pupil can indicate whether the person you are speaking to feels you are attractive or not, but shouldn't be used as a guarantee of their feelings, as there are other factors that can cause pupil dilation, (drug use, lighting, a recent visit to the optometrist).
So I am trying to understand why NT's in general feel that eye contact is so important.
From my point of view, as someone with Asperger's, I don't really find much value, other than aesthetics, for continued, or prolonged eye contact.
Do you get something else from looking into someones eyes when they are talking?
I've tried looking into my wife's eyes. They are olive with little, white specks, although on occasion they are hazel rather than olive. Pretty.
But looking into her eyes when having a conversation with her, doesn't seem to add anything more to the conversation, so am I missing something?
Can any NT's out their help me understand this?